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Monthly Archives: February 2008

The Little Things

Thursday, February 14, 2008 Posted in photography

In honor of Valentines Day, I have to share these thoughts that I just read on one of my favorite blogs:

“it’s the littlest things in life that usually matter the most. in your life, in my life…the small things matter. it’s ironic that we focus on the big things and miss out on the beautiful small things right around us. sometimes we focus on success, influence, 10 year planning, etc… and we miss out on what really matters right in front of us.

the little things in a marriage count. not diamond rings, big houses, or expensive trips….but embraces, loving kisses, time, sitting on the couch together under a blanket, encouragement and support. the little things in parenting count. not new toys and more gadgets…but affection, companionship, and boosterism.

the little things in friendships count. everyone knows you can’t buy friends, at least not real ones. and if you could buy real ones…wouldn’t they stop being real the moment you purchased them? in the end, it’s the day-to-day little things that make friendships strong, not money or stature. seemingly little things like inside jokes, remembering important things, having in mind the others best interest, loyalty…these things matter.

little things in our faith matter. most of us want to know God and change the world, and we will fight to the end to been seen as the godlier and holier. yet, in our thrust towards a false sense of perfection, we miss all the small things that make our faith tangible and legitimate.”


I’m so glad I read that today… I really needed that perspective. If you want to read more click here. I omitted just one or two lines that pertained to the author’s children, but the message is so worth hearing.

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Valentine’s Day!

Thursday, February 14, 2008 Posted in photography

I know it’s a “Hallmark Holiday”, and truthfully – my intellectual side cringes at the giddy excitement when I wake up on this day that’s dedicated to love.

Perhaps it’s the fact that this year my heart has never been more full, or that we’re celebrating all of L.A.’s “firsts”, but today seems to have a little sheen to it. Like today is destined to be a good day – just because.
When I got in my car to go to work today, I was running extremely late, and pretty much everything that could have gone wrong this morning – did. As I went to toss my things onto the passenger seat of my car I saw a perfect little black bag with white polka dots and two cards sticking out of it. A huge smile spread across my face as I reached over to open the cards from my two guys. I’m the luckiest girl in the world.
To remind myself of this, here’s my view today:

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Tick Tock

Tuesday, February 12, 2008 Posted in photography

 

I had my first new mom breakdown last night as I sat on the couch at 9pm and realized that I had been going non stop since 5am and while I was finally done for the day, I was too exhausted to do anything but take my little rump upstairs and pass out. I know there are millions of moms who do this every day, and I suppose I just need some practice.

Between getting myself and L.A. ready in the morning, working all day, coming home to cook dinner, wash bottles, prepare lunches, fill bottles, load the dishwasher, get the coffee ready, clean the kitchen up, give the baby a bath, then put him to bed – my day is jam packed from beginning to end. I miss my husband immensely, and there really just aren’t enough hours in the day. Never mind the night, where I feel like I have to capitalize on every ounce of sleep because L.A. still isn’t sleeping straight through, and I’m guaranteed to be awake for at least an hour or two while the rest of the world is sleeping.

As I sat on the couch with tears streaming down my face, C offered to take over some of the nighttime duties. “I’ll give L.A. a bath” he offered. This ignited more tears as I sobbed that it was the only time I felt that I really had to bond during the week with the baby. “Well, what if you cooked a few meals on the weekend so they’d be ready for the week” he suggested. More tears – then I’ll miss spending time with you guys on the weekend. *sigh* I know there isn’t an easy answer to this, and I know it will get easier eventually, but in the throws of exhaustion I was feeling overwhelmed. I’m lucky to have a husband who understands that, and is willing to help out… now if only that was the message I had conveyed to him last night.

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Well, we made it

Thursday, February 7, 2008 Posted in photography

And by “we”, I mean me. I drove like a bat out of hell and cursed like a truck driver when I hit every red light from the office to the daycare center. I peeled into the parking lot, threw the car into park and nearly sprinted to the door. When I got to the infant room, L.A. was happy as could be, guzzling down a bottle like it was nothing. The smile he gave when he realized it was me was worth every ounce of agony I went through today worrying about him.

He didn’t get the whole napping thing down very well, and within 5 minutes of being home, here is my son:

Note the big belly just hanging out there. Typical guy.

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Daycare Depression

Thursday, February 7, 2008 Posted in photography

Today was the first day of daycare for the little guy, and oh boy were there tears. From me, not him. As C and I stood there protectively clinging to our little guy, we watched another mother come in and drop her baby off without a second thought. I turned to C and said “She’s a pro”.

Finally one of the ladies from the daycare just reached out her arms, and I handed L.A. over. As soon as I let him go, my eyes welled up. Rather than make it worse, I just decided to go at that point. I cried the whole way to work, and then sucked it up as I pulled into the parking lot. Rationally, I know that this is the best thing for him, and in the long run we’ll be glad that we did it. For right now though, it’s tough!

I made it a whopping 2 hours before calling to check and see how he was doing. Imagine my surprise when the girl picked up the phone and said “I just hung up with your husband”. Yeah, we’re definitely rookies in need of constant reassurance that he’s okay. In fact, I need to go call again for my own piece of mind.

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Inconsistency – The one consistent thing

Wednesday, February 6, 2008 Posted in photography

 

I’m a Pisces in every sense of the word, and I’ve never been big on routines or organization (much to C’s dismay) so imagine my surprise when I realized at 3 in the morning – when I was up for the second time with L.A. – how much I’m craving a set schedule. Something relatively predictable that I could plan my life around would be heavenly right now. 2 1/2 months into this, and I feel like we’re still flying by the seat of our pants, following the little guy’s lead and putting everything else to the side.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not complaining as much as I’m conveying my wishful thoughts. You see, L.A. keeps giving me these little teasers… one night he’ll go down nicely at an appropriate hour and sleep peacefully, waking only once to eat and we both arise happy campers. I allow myself to gloat about it all day and secretly hope that it was the beginning of the next phase.

Fast forward to 9 pm when I’ve been rocking a cranky baby for nearly 2 hours and despite the fact that he (and I) are exhausted, he refuses to succumb to sleep. I hold him close and breath in deeply that sweet baby smell and try to sear this moment into my memory. Although I’m desperate to go to sleep myself and have no idea what the next day will bring, I know that these days are numbered and before I blink my eyes we’ll have an independent little boy who doesn’t need his mommy quite so much as he does tonight.

So, for now, I’m just going to enjoy the ride and take comfort in the consistency of unpredictability.

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Security Checkpoint

Tuesday, February 5, 2008 Posted in photography

After much discussion with my husband, I’ve gone back and removed our son’s real name from my blog. From now on he’ll be L.A. – as he has been since the inception of this page or Little C, or perhaps “the little guy”… I’m sure you’ll get the drift as to whom I referring. The hubby is still the handsome C. Any other acronyms or abbreviations I’ll let you know along the way.

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Back to the grind

Monday, February 4, 2008 Posted in photography

So today is my first day back to work, and Little C decided that it would be appropriate to wake up at 4:30 in the morning, despite the fact that my alarm was set for 5:30. Needless to say, by the time he was done eating, going back to sleep wasn’t really an option. Despite being up before the crack of dawn, I still arrived to work about twenty minutes later than I had planned. My morning routine needs some work.

When I arrived at my desk, this is what I was greeted with:

How great are my coworkers? Totally made the day much easier to handle since I can just glance over and see my sweet little boy. Apparently, they’ve been building the collage since I first had him and sent in pictures for them to see. They kept asking me to email more pictures, and I was worried I’d become *that mom* that inundates everyone with photos of their child, but now I know why.

So far no tears for me, but C is home with the little guy today, so it doesn’t seem so bad.

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