Similiar to beer goggles, just a lot more accurate. In my eyes, the cutest guy ever:
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Monthly Archives: April 2008
Family
I was talking to my brother yesterday and we got on the topic of family dynamics, and how they vary so much from one to the next. It seems so often that there is struggle in families, between husband and wife, mother and daughter, one sister to the next.
It really got me thinking about what I hope for my own family. Right now it all seems so simple… but I know as the years go on and L.A. gets older and we (hopefully) add to our brood that things will become more complex.
I desperately want my family to be one where our children feel comfortable coming to talk to us… about anything, even the uncomfortable things… failures, disappointments, fears, hopes, dreams…. I want all of these to be normal conversation. I don’t want our kids to fear that they can’t tell us something because we’ll blow up, or judge them, or freak out. I don’t want them to see their parents as people that are stuck in a certain way of thinking without flexibility or understanding of new ideas as times change.
I want to have disagreements, arguments, and conversations about things we don’t see eye to eye on. But, I don’t want disagreement to equal distance. I don’t want to sweep things under the rug, or pretend that things aren’t what they may be.
I want C and I to love each other, and be as affectionate 30 years from now as we are today. I want my kids to see a loving marriage displayed on the day to day, not the important, special occasions.
It’s not that I want to escape bad things, because sometimes in the wake of the bad things that’s when we grow the most. I don’t want perfect kids or a perfect family. I just want realness. I want life to be lived out in confidence and transparency. L.A. will mess up, he will keep things from me…but in the end, I want family to be what it’s supposed to be… real, loving, and a place of refuge.
Quick update
I’ve been bad about blogging this week, work’s been busy and my evenings have been spent editing pictures that I did last weekend of C’s niece’s children. Here’s a quick peek:
I’m excited about how these are coming along. I’m leaving work early today for my first maternity shoot – yikes! There’s a beautiful pregnant girl at work, and I mustered up the nerve the other day to offer to do some maternity pictures, and she was really excited! Hopefully they come out good.
In looking at these pictures though, I’m realizing that the color is off on my laptop because these weren’t quite so dark when I edited them last night.
We should have known better
First and foremost, L.A. is doing much better… for those of you that were worried. The evenings seem a little rougher than the daytime, but on a whole he’s doing much much better.
Now for today’s post; and I’ll forewarn you not to be eating when you read and I apologize in advance for it’s graphic nature.
Just before bath time tonight, C was holding L.A. when his little tummy let out a loud grumble. C and I looked at each other and said, “Hmmm… that doesn’t sound too good”. I went ahead and took him upstairs anyway. He smiled and played happily while I got him ready for his bath, and started splashing away as soon as I put him in the water.
Not 2 minutes into it I hear the telltale rumble of bubbles in the water, and look down in horror. ”Oh NO!” I exclaimed. C called from the hallway “Did he just poop in the tub?”. Sure did, and my very mature response was to start laughing uncontrollably. I don’t know why, but laughter is my response in many inappropriate situations. Without getting too into detail, I’ll sum it up to say L.A. is not at the point in life yet where the substance that exits his body is solid. Gross. C had to come in and empty the tub while I held a shivering L.A. who didn’t seem to understand what all the fuss was about.
C finally filled the tub back up with warm water and I gently lowered L.A. back in where he proceeded to begin to splash around again. No sooner had C turned around and walked back out of the bathroom than – you guessed it – Round Two. Unbelievable.
Needless to say the third go around was a race against the clock, and the baby finally did get clean. Moral of the story: when you hear that grumble, give the kid some time.
L.A. Update
Well, we didn’t make it until 8 am. We had brought L.A.’s swing upstairs into our room last night, and around 1:30 am he woke up coughing to the point where he could barely breathe. I took him out and was holding him on my lap in bed as C and I debated on whether to take him to the emergency room. There’s nothing more terrifying than being afraid your child can’t breathe. As I was holding him, C noticed he felt a little warmer than he had earlier, so we took his temp to confirm it had gone up a bit, and then decided to head over to the Children’s Medical Center.
We got there in about 10 minutes, and in that time L.A.’s temp spiked to 101.9. Thank goodness we left when we did. For what it’s worth, our little man seemed relatively unaffected by this at first. He must have thought it was a party being out in the middle of the night meeting new people, because he was flirting with every nurse that glanced his way… Nothing says paranoid parent more than a child who seems perfectly happy when you’re claiming they’re ill.
After a few rounds of evaluation, L.A.’s mood went downhill fast. It quickly became clear that despite his earlier mood, something was wrong. He was wheezing at rest, and any time he became agitated his breathing was increasingly laborious. The cough on this boy sounds like a seal barking at sea. That cough is what pretty much sealed the diagnosis. The little guy has Croup. We have no way of knowing where he picked it up, as it’s a viral infection, but it came on hard and fast. They say the next couple of days will probably be the worst, but they gave him a steroid at the hospital that should help him get through a little more comfortably.
this is not his happy face
Yes, I took his picture in the hospital. Yes, I realize that’s crazy.
I am so not strong
Single moms everywhere, I salute you. L.A. was a pretty miserable little boy when I picked him up from daycare, and he’s just gotten worse as the night has gone on. I’ve been brought to tears several times at the sound of my son wheezing and struggling to breathe through his coughing. I’m not sure I’m cut out for this mom thing. I just don’t think I have the heart for this side of it.
Today while I am weak and weepy eyed, C has been a rock. He’s currently making all sorts of ridiculous noises and faces to extract what small smiles L.A. has to give. To watch him tonight is amazing. I know it’s not that he isn’t worried, it’s that he knows how worried I am and he’s picking up all three of us. His partnership in parenting is invaluable.
8 am can’t come fast enough. I just want to take this baby to the Dr so they can fix him. I don’t know if there’s a solution for my problem though. Time, experience…..maybe?
Dimples
On the other cheeks. This is my submission for the 52 week project.
