Crista Acosta Photography »

I’ve spent more hours than I can count staring at this boy.  

C has been heading up bath time with L.A. recently.  The following conversation was overheard as the two of them were exiting the bathroom the other night:

C : I want you to be able to have a good time, but I want you to also know your limits and know that no matter what situation you’re in, you can always call me and I’ll come pick you up and I promise you won’t be in trouble. 

L.A. : huh?

C : Here let’s try.  Practice calling Daddy for a ride. (hands L.A. the toy phone)

L.A. : Dadda?

C : Yup, that’s right, you call Dadda.  See, now I’ll answer – “L.A., where are you?  I’ll come pick you up.”

L.A. : Woah woa. 

C : Where is Woah woa, I’m not sure how to get there?  Do any of your friends need a ride home too?  Who are you with?

L.A. : Ro Ro. 

C : Oh, I knew that Ro Ro was no good.  (big sigh)  Okay, I’m on my way to come get you buddy, I’m proud of you for calling.

This conversation went on for a good 10 minutes as I cracked up on the couch.  I pray that they always have the bond that they share now, and that it just gets bigger and better as time goes on.  

Here’s a quick picture I snapped as the two of them left the hospital when C brought L.A. to meet his little brother.  I just love how they’re walking hand in hand, 2/3 of my heart completely enamored with each other, oblivious of me taking their picture.  If I’m honest, this picture is a pretty good representation of how the past week has been, and these two boys are loving up all the together time.  We all are.

A big thanks to Christa for the fun newborn prop, and the spotting on this shot – only she would know this was the perfect gift to celebrate P2’s arrival! 

Thank you everyone for all of your kind words and well wishes for my family.  We really appreciate all the love!  And just for the record, I will probably be posting 1 million pictures of this baby… I’m addicted. 

Have I mentioned how in love I am?  Poor child sleeps sweetly having no idea this is the first of many many photo shoots in his life.  Especially since his big brother now runs the other way when he sees my camera.  ;) 

I woke up at 1 in the morning on May 1st.  I had been tossing and turning (as much as one can do when you’re 9 months pregnant) for hours, and despite my best attempts at keeping them at bay, my mind was filled with racing thoughts.  I stared at the clock ticking away as I worried myself sick about the day to come.  I worried about the surgery, I worried about being away from L.A., I worried about what adding another person to our family meant to the dynamics of my marriage, and most of all I worried about if how I could possibly ever love another child the way I loved L.A.  

As the hours passed, I laid there staring at the ceiling, a hand on my belly and a lump in my throat.  Around 4 am L.A. suddenly started crying from the other room, and I let him try to work it out for a few minutes before giving in.  I got out of bed and quietly walked into his dimly lit room and scooped him up out of his crib and into my arms.  He laid his head on my shoulder, and nuzzled in next to him before we laid down together in the big boy bed that awaits being used.  We snuggled there together in the wee hours of the morning and with tear filled eyes, I said a silent thank you for what I knew was a completely stolen moment.  I was terrified that everything was about to change, and for just then needed to hold on tight to my first baby. 

After a while, I laid L.A. back to sleep in his crib, and was able to fall asleep for a couple of hours.  Eventually everyone woke up, and we got L.A. ready for his day.  Our amazing daycare provider had offered to pick L.A. up to allow us a little extra family time that morning.  When Jennifer came to pick L.A. up, he was beyond excited, and proudly walked himself out to the car where the other kids were waiting.  He was all smiles as he waved goodbye, happy to be starting his day with his friends.  C and I stood together, and said goodbye.  I leaned in to give him a kiss, and when I turned around I saw a glimpse of sadness in C’s eyes and completely fell apart.  Through teary eyes, I thanked Jennifer, though I doubt “thank you” or any other words could ever convey my gratitude to her for taking care of L.A. while we were in the hospital.

C and I got to the hospital at 10:30 am, and they quickly set us up in a room getting the IVs ready, and going over the details of the day.  Promptly at 1 o’clock, C got all dressed up in his surgical gear, and we walked down to the operating room.  Outside the door, my heart got tight and I could feel the fear creeping in.  I grabbed C’s hand and kissed him, not wanting him to leave me even for the 10 minutes that I knew we had to be apart.  

The Dr’s and nurses were incredibly kind and reassuring as they got me all prepped and ready.   Everyone was taking bets as to whether the baby was a boy or a girl (almost everyone guessed girl).  Time went quickly, and before I knew it C was at my side again.  I had some issues with the anesthesia not taking completely at first which had me a little scared, but that was quickly resolved and the surgery began.  Throughout the operation, C held my hand, and talked me through it.  There was music playing in the OR, a special mix that my Dr listens to during surgeries, and suddenly from my above my head, the anesthesiologist said “the baby must be coming soon, the music is starting to ramp up”.  

Well, P2 may have had other plans, because that song passed and we heard the beginning of Daughtry’s “I’m coming home” start to play.  Within moments, the Dr said, “Get ready, we’re about to meet your baby” and I felt a bunch of pressure right before hearing the sweetest sound in the world as P2 filled his lungs and let out an angry cry.  C and I looked at each other both with tears in our eyes as they said “It’s a boy!” and then I started sobbing.  Another boy… how lucky are we?!  Certainly we would have been equally as blessed to have a girl, but the thoughts of what brothers meant for our family in the years to come quickly flooded my head, and I was overwhelmed with joy.  C stood up and captured P2’s first few minutes on camera. 

P2 got cleaned up and they brought him right over to me.  Though I was fairly immobile, I was able to reach my arm around and hold him.  In fact, as we were wheeled into recovery, I got to keep him in my arms.  This was an amazing experience, as with L.A. I had too much medicine and wasn’t able to hold him for quite some time.  As I stared down at this perfect child in my arms, I knew the instant I had heard his cry that I absolutely had enough love for both of them.  It was as if in that moment, at exactly 1:41, I grew an entirely separate heart just for P2.  I counted his fingers and toes, and marveled at his sweet little tiny lips.  

C went to go make celebratory phone calls as P2 and I stayed there in our dream world.  Suddenly, from around the curtain I saw a familiar face.  When we were in the hospital with L.A., there was an amazing nurse who took care of us.  She was incredibly kind, and taught me how to care for my infant son and be a mom as she simultaneously took care of me during my recovery.  There was just something about her, that was so incredibly kind and special… I cried the day we left the hospital and I had to say goodbye to her.  I’ve thought of her often in the past year and a half, and when we were admitted earlier that morning, I had asked another nurse if she was still there.  My smile couldn’t even come close to conveying how happy I was to see her.  It just so happened that it was her weekend on, and in a divine intervention, we wound up lucky enough to have her again.  Sue, if you happen to ever stumble upon this – Thank you.  From the bottom of my heart, thank you. 

P2 and I stayed in the recovery room for quite some time, just resting, his tiny little body against mine.  As we laid there together, my racing worried thoughts were finally calmed.  Not only was it all going to be okay, it was all going to be amazing.  We have a very fun life ahead of us, and we are incredibly lucky.  I knew as I stared down at his sweet face, that his big brother would love him, and he had been picked by someone much wiser than me because he is part of our family, and that had been determined long ago.  

We are so blessed.  P2 was born Friday May 1st at 1:41 pm weighing 7 lbs 11 ounces.

It’s only been five days, but we’re all completely in love.  He’s a laid back little guy who just seems happy to be here.  Just a few hours after P2 was born, my grandfather passed away.  I like to think that he now has two guardian angels, as his middle name is shared with my uncle, whom we found out was terminally ill two days before finding out I was pregnant.  P2 has a head full of hair just as I expected, sweet little lips exactly like his brother’s, one confirmed dimple on his right cheek, the cutest little pointy right ear I’ve ever seen, and eyes that are dark and wise well beyond his years (or days in his case).  

Oh, and to all the moms – and readers – in whom I confided about being worried about having enough love for both of them…  Thank you for all your reassurance.  You were so beyond right. 

Though I find the whole process of a scheduled c-section unnerving and unnatural, there’s something pretty amazing about knowing that without a shadow of a doubt today C and I will meet a tiny little person who will forever change our lives.  

Thank you all for the kind wishes, support and numerous prayers.  We appreciate it more than you know.